Unsuspecting Shoppers Beware

I was in Walmart a few days ago and went into their financial services area to buy some money orders. To organize the customer queue they have a lane divider, with a sign at the end where the customer waits their turn to be waited on. And, yes, that is an exit, to be sure. This lane for Walmart's financial services is a symbolic match to Superman's anagram named lover, lois-SOIL Lane (Superman's Dirty Little Secret) - or the Chocolate Lane of Bob the Train. (Secret Pedophile programming preschoolers for the "Chocolate Lane")

Aaron was using a Bible website the next day and this ad for items from the site dresslily.com was displayed. The one on the right looks like, well, something NSFW * not safe for work. The product has a long title, Novelty Jumbo Squishy Kawaii Stress Reliever Super Soft Squeeze Slow Rising Healing Reducer Stretchy Decompress Toy. If you're not at work you might want to visit the site and explore the item's pictures to really see what kind of novelty item they're advertising to innocent visitors to the Bible site.

On a similar note, State Farm is selling insurance with a commercial with a subtle featuring of similar items. (State Farm and Sheryl's She-Shed) They don't identify them but let's call these items, limp impotent garden hose, and vigorous fire hose. The garden hose with the flow issue is wielded by Victor, whose name presents a bit of irony. He was not very supportive of Sheryl's she-shed. Lightning or arson? Shame shame. The firemen are trying to save Sheryl's she-shed. Orgasmic. Her heroes. Running up the score for the triple-goddess branded 666 signaling brand.

UPDATE: A few hours after publishing this post I received a marketing email from Walmart. It calls for an update.

"Best. Tailgate. Ever." Since their sunny starburst logo is the sodomite gateway, calling it a "tail gate," and the best one ever, well, yeah. Okay. Target might want to contest that, with their logo, but, okay. For the ad to feature an image of a couple guys working together to pull canvASS down over a pole, that might be going a little heavy on the sodomy imagery. Featuring the the cornhole game, well, okay. They have gone really heavy on the redundancy.